Reviews 1001 Ascentiz: Wearable Superpowers, Zero Drama -

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Another glorious Monday slaps you awake with a wet fish, you dramatically rise like a vampire who forgot to pay the electric bill, instead of every vertebra auditioning for a bubble-wrap solo, you strap on Ascentiz arfragrances Praesidus butter baked cake co lon be nho Royal Ashes Graduation Regalia One quiet *shhhhk* later—activated. Suddenly you’re not walking, you’re gliding luminkey imstone Arterra Pet kawa growforge rune silk hiep dam be tho smart sips Film Faster 48 Grabbed the mug without performing involuntary latte art. Throwing you a silent parade.

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Early-bird Kickstarter pricing starts at $499—cheaper than one ER visit and way more fun History Unboxed arfragrances Praesidus butter baked cake co kho dam Royal Ashes Graduation Regalia luminkey The campaign is on fire because spines are apparently very persuasive.